secret menu at McDonald's hack: ask for 12 oz chloroform

'"Sir Monty Ash Smith Jr. Hiraethminds"
born: ???? died: 20501
-known aliases-
"what the hell are you saying, leave me alone" - neighbor
"huh?" - classmate
"you talking about the one chap who wears suspenders in the year of our lord 2023?" - some old man we found

observations:
dosn't respond to emails
posts "art"
mantiddies

descrption:
Hight: aprox 7 bananas tall
Weight: $217.2 in pennies
Gender: surprisingly tiny
Ethnicity: Dancing looks like a dead fish being electrocuted by a gaggle of 10 year old with a car battery
Eye color: What ever fits the joke better
Hair color: Incomprehensible to the human eye
Blood type: loose change found in the couch
Iconic catchphrase: "you will find that of all lords, i am simply the shittiest"

!!!SUSPIOUS MATRESS JUMPSCARE!!!!

evildavidbowie: why did you click on the matress dude... thats kinda gross

evildavidbowie: Like, you are not cool or brave for touching that ratpiss stained mattress, you are just an idiot, a massive tool, people will think you have a dirty mattress kink dude. Then the next thing you know youve just become the dirty mattress kink guy

evildavidbowie: like, you go into town right just to pick up some sparkled water, you look like the kinda guy who would drink that no offense, and then you would hear someone say some shit under their breath like "holy mackerel it's the mattress freak themselves"

evildavidbowie: just trust me on this dude, you don't want that rep in this part of town.

evildavidbowie: Health risk???

evildavidbowie: you mean to tell me you care more about your own health and well being rather than the thoughts of strangers passing you on your holy saunter for sparkled water?!?!

evildavidbowie: god you are more of an idot than i thought.

evildavidbowie: egh, well whatever, im sending you back in time to a point in time before you touched that fucking thing, remember to not engage your hands with anymore filthy mattresses.

secret menu at McDonald's hack: ask for 12 oz chloroform

'"Sir Monty Ash Smith Jr. Hiraethminds"
born: ???? died: 20501
-known aliases-
"what the hell are you saying, leave me alone" - neighbor
"huh?" - classmate
"you talking about the one chap who wears suspenders in the year of our lord 2023?" - some old man we found

observations:
dosn't respond to emails
posts "art"
mantiddies

descrption:
Hight: aprox 7 bananas tall
Weight: $217.2 in pennies
Gender: surprisingly tiny
Ethnicity: Dancing looks like a dead fish being electrocuted by a gaggle of 10 year old with a car battery
Eye color: What ever fits the joke better
Hair color: Incomprehensible to the human eye
Blood type: loose change found in the couch
Iconic catchphrase: "you will find that of all lords, i am simply the shittiest"

!???!!▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆??!!!!

come back later